Monday, November 19, 2012

Last week was appointment overload.  Tuesday; cat scan and MRI of the brain.  Wed: Xgeva.
Thursday; Radiologist.
Things I learned;  my ribs still hurt because it still shows a fracture.  There's nothing in my head - literally what the Dr. said to which I replied, "Well I hope there's something there but that would explain a lot."
I found out that I can not miss taking medication or walking is extremely difficult and painful.  The reason being a spot that may have to get more radiation but not yet.  My spine can't be radiated any more but the ribs and the other spot possibly.  Thankfully, not now.  I go back in another 4 months and then we'll see.
This week I have one appointment and then none until after Albuquerque.  Yay..yay ...yay!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Interesting appointment today.
"I  remember you." Tech says.
"I  remember you too." me
"I can't believe you're still here.  (Can't believe your still here - what does that mean I'm thinking) Tell me everything that's happened." - Tech
I told her about the lumpectomy, the port, 7 weeks of radiation, Zometa (1st bone strengthener they tried), the surgery on my leg, 3 more weeks of radiation, the port removal, and Xgeva (bone strengthener I get once a month) and about appointments next week for a brain MRI, a cat scan of my organs, and an appointment with the radiologist to discuss possible radiation treatments again.
"That's amazing.  You look great.  I really thought when I first saw you (one and a half years ago)
that it was a death sentence.  It looked that bad."
Now I know what she meant, 'can't believe you're still here.'
"But here you are." Tech says.
"Yes, God has really taken care of me."
"Well, it's amazing and I'm so proud of you."  says Tech.
I have to say it kind of surprised me.  I mean I've known it's a miracle I'm still here.  It just hasn't been
verbalized by any of the Dr.'s I've seen.

Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

MRI update.
The Dr. was happy with the results.  She said it looked pretty good.  There are a couple of really small
tumors but nothing to worry about.  The one thing I was confused about is the report says a compression fracture at T1 likely pathologic.  She said it was healing and that it wasn't new but it
was the first time its been in any of the test results.  So how old is it?  It is right where I get sharp pains every once in a while.  She seemed very happy with the results so I choose to be too.
They did increase pain medications the visit last week which seems to be helping.  There are always issues with that too - sleepy, intestinal problems, not thinking clearly - but that's ok.  I can deal with these.
Something I'm reading - from In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day:

Maybe that is why God sometimes invites us to defy impossible odds.  Maybe it is one way He can show us His omnipotence.  Maybe God allows the odds to be stacked against us so He can reveal more of His glory.

I can always hope this is the case.  Even if it isn't I trust Him in this circumstance and see ways that He has worked.

Monday, September 24, 2012

In my reading today I realized this very much fits my present circumstances.  I have been feeling unaccomplished in anything.
Reading this made me realize my feelings are not the truth. 

September 24, 2012
from:  Streams in the Desert

When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, bu the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.  Acts 16:7

What a strange thing for the Lord to prohibit, for they were going into Bithynia to do Christ’s work!  And the door was shut before them by Christ’s own Spirit.

There have been times when I have experienced the same thing.  Sometimes I have been interrupted in what seemed to be quite productive work.  And at times, opposition came and forced me to go back, or sickness came and forced me to rest in some isolated place.

During such times, it was difficult for me to leave my work unfinished when I believed it was service done in the power of His Spirit.  But I finally remembered that the Spirit requires not only a service of work but also a service of waiting.  I came to see that in the kingdom of Christ, there are not only times for action but times to refrain from action.  And I also came to learn that a place of isolation is often the most useful place of all in this diverse world.  Its harvest is more rich than the seasons when the corn and wine were the most abundant.  So I have learned to thank the blessed Holy Spirit that many a beautiful Bithynia had to be left without a visit from me.

Dear Holy Spirit, my desire is still to be led by You.  Nevertheless, my opportunities for usefulness seem to be disappointed, for today the door appears open into a life of service for You but tomorrow it closes before me just as I am about to enter.  Teach me to see another door even in the midst of the inaction of this time.  Help me to find, even in the area of service where You have closed a door, a new entrance into Your service.  Inspire me with the knowledge that a person may sometimes be called to serve by doing nothing, by staying still, or by waiting.  And when I remember the power of Your “gentle whisper” (I Kings 19:12), I will not complain that sometimes the Spirit allows me not to go.  George Matheson 

When I cannot understand my Father’s leading,
and it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
Still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading,
God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT.

Then to make sure I got the point, I read the following from “Jesus Calling”.

This is the path I have set before you.  As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant Life and Peace.

Sometimes this is a very difficult place to be. And to understand what is going on - why the silence and inactivity.  Then I remember the things
I’ve been learning from this experience and also the messages I’ve gotten out for people to hear:

o   Trust God above all else and work on your relationship with Him. 
o   Love your family and friends and let them know how special they are.
o   Take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
o   Get your mammograms on time.  Don’t wait for the possibility of it spreading and becoming something more difficult to fight – or that you will have to live with the rest of your life.  Notice I did not say
“ladies” because MEN can get it too.

These are the most important to me right now.
Certainly, writing and sharing are not inactive.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Monday - Xgeva shot and blood work, slept almost all day because of shot
Tuesday - Had to go to the Dr. because of problems I've been having.  They are changing
                 my pain meds to see if that works and doing an MRI next week to see if anything
                 new could be the culprit. Tired does not begin to describe how I was feeling.
Wednesday - I guess the shot was making me feel bad.  Had a migraine?  Neck, back head felt like
                      they were going to explode.  Slept a lot again.
Thursday - Felt better during the day and I got my new medications -tried them at night.
                  Don't know if they're going to work, couldn't tell any difference.  Maybe it takes time.
Friday - felt better in the a.m. but around 3 started feeling like I'd been run over by a truck.  That
             is how the Dr. said the shot would make me feel for 2 weeks.
Saturday - Chuck decided he wanted to rearrange the family room.  For me that means dusting and
                 helping when possible.  It's not finished and more stuff got moved into my art room which
                 means more rearranging in there.  Last weekend he painted my art room or "studio" and
                 Jesse, Jason, and Chuck moved my stuff into my new space.
                 Looking forward to everything being back to normal.
                 I will take pictures when everything is done.
                 Feeling better today, yay.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I called one of my Dr.'s today because
I needed to make an appointment.  
The person I spoke to put me on hold 
then the phone rang..and rang and continued
to ring until I hung up and called back.
When she answered the phone I told her
what happened and she very rudely told
me that she'd redirected my call to the nurse
and the nurse didn't answer because she
was trying to look up my information.  She said she was 
walking back to the nurse to see when I needed
to make another appointment.  I know what I'm
saying doesn't sound rude but she really was and
I don't know why it really upset me.
I have noticed that I get upset more easily than 
I used to - don't know if it's cancer, drugs,
whatever.  I hung up and decided to stop feeling
angry and look at things I'm thankful for:
I only have to get bloodwork and an Xgeva shot
this next month.  I don't have any real Dr. appointments
till the end of October.  That's quite a break for me.
I usually have an appointment at least every other week.
So instead of getting upset with someone who was
probably PMS-ing.. I choose to be thankful I don't have
to see her till December and by that time I will have
forgotten the whole thing.
I have also decided to start working on my art daily.
At least an hour.  Today I worked on a t shirt that
I painted and needed some fixing.  I was thinking I was
going to quit painting t shirts but I decided if I paint them
they will be light in color.  Trying to paint on dark colored
shirts is extremely time consuming and doesn't work well.
I also want to put together some drawing and painting lessons
on my other blog, probably around the middle of September.
And I need to open an Etsy shop.  I've been saying that
forever so my goal is open a shop by September 7th.
We'll see how it goes because it does depend on 
how I'm feeling. 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Update time!
Had an electrocardiogram and stress test.
Test results show heart is pumping fine, is probably
just inflamed because of radiation and medications.
I was so relieved to hear that and I really thought that
radiation was the culprit.  Yay!  Relieved!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Dr office mix ups

I was told I would be getting a stress test yesterday at the Cardiologist.
My family Dr. told me this.
The Cardiologist office called me to schedule.  I missed the call so I called
back and the receptionist made an appointment for 11:15.
I went to the Cardiologist and found whoever made the appointment didn't
put it in the computer, I didn't have an appointment, but they took me anyway.
They did not do a stress test, just an EKG.  They scheduled me for an electrocardiogram
and a stress test (3 hours, yuck) for next week and gave me a prescription for nitroglycerin.
The only thing they say is my EKG is "different".
I think this is going to be a big waste of time because I think all my problems are caused from
the bone strengthener they have me on and radiation.  Let's hope its a waste of time anyway.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Sedona, one of my favorite places out west.
I had heard the sunsets were something you
had to see.  Unfortunately, I left my good 
camera in the room and only had an ipod.
I had Corey's little camera too but I don't have
the wire to plug into my computer

I got the results back from my bone scan.
No new cancer.  The tumors in my spine are
still active but he thinks the radiation may take a
while longer to take effect, so no radiation for now.
That makes me happy!

I wish I'd known more about constipation caused by pain medication
and how to avoid it.  I have a problem caused by it that the Dr. I saw 
this week says surgery may be needed to correct it.  I flat out said no.  She
said if it gets worse I'll need to see a surgeon.  I'm holding out on this one.
I don't want anymore surgery.  I know I may have to eventually but not now.
Some good things have happened this week that I can't really
discuss right now but I thank God for His faithfulness and taking
care of my daughters.  God is great!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I’ve felt like I’ve allowed myself to be in a kind of serious - down spirit lately and reading the following from one of my books the other day helped me see it and start working on making a change-its just waiting for test results make me crazy

Learn to laugh at yourself more freely.  Don’t take yourself or your circumstances so seriously.  Relax and know that I am God with you.
When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening.  Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities—things that are beyond your control.  Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of your domain.
Laughter lightens your load and lifts your heart into heavenly places.  Your laughter rises to heaven and blends with angelic melodies of praise.  Just as parents delight in the laughter of their children, so I delight in hearing My children laugh.  I rejoice when you trust Me enough to enjoy your life lightheartedly.
Do not miss the Joy of My presence by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Rather, take My yoke upon you and learn from Me.  My yoke is comfortable and pleasant; My burden is light and easily borne.

from Jesus Calling
June 17th
so an appropriate cheer me up goofy picture of my girls
and me :)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Well, I had my bone scan done last week, Thursday.  Thankfully it went well and the guy got a vein the first try and I hardly felt anything.  That was awesome.  I'm going to tell the Dr. I always want to go there for that test.  But... I'm still waiting to hear the results.  I don't like waiting.  Hopefully it's a good thing.
 I got my Xgeva shot today.  Later this evening my arm was killing me and I kept wondering why it hurt, sheesh, how quickly I forget.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Last week - 2 Doctor appointments.  I guess I had a long enough break.
This week another bone scan to check for new cancer.  This is a test I hate
only because last time they couldn't find a vein, it took 7 tries and the last
one sprayed blood everywhere.  I almost passed out.  So I'm going to try
eating 1/2 a watermelon before I go to make my veins fat juicy.
I hope no new cancer but I have new pain so that's part of why they're checking.
When I went to the orthopedic surgeon last week he said I have 2 types of
bursitis in my hip.  Maybe the new pain is caused by something like that.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Is the midnight closing round you?
Are the shadows dark and long?
Ask Him to come close beside you,
And He'll give you song.

He'll give it and sing it with you;
And when weakness slows you down,
He'll take up the broken cadence,
And blend it with His own.

And many a heavenly singer
Among those sons of light,
Will say of His sweetest music,
"I learned it in the night."
And many a lovely anthem,
That fills the Father's home,
Sobbed out its first rehearsal,
In the shade of a darkened room.

taken from "Streams in the Desert" May 30th
George Matheson

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nothing New

Had a mammogram today.  Yay, nothing new to report.  When did sonograms become so painful?
They had a new machine, ouch not fun, but its over thank goodness and no new cancer!  Thank you God!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

It’s been a year since I found out I have stage IV breast cancer that has spread to my bones.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  I go through good times and bad, or I guess depression.  This last week I had a few bad days.  Those are days when I cry and don’t handle things well.  This past week I’ve been struggling with the down side.  I think getting a disabled parking
permit didn’t help.  When Chuck asked me to see about getting one I took the paperwork to my Dr. thinking if she approved it she would only approve it temporarily - meaning 6 months.  But, she approved it permanently.  That, I must admit, surprised me.  It doesn’t expire until 2016.
I’ve been in a bit of a fog since that happened.  I think I haven’t been accepting all of what I’ve been told and know about my cancer.  Of course
I know attitude, diet (sugar why can’t I hate you), etc. can affect the outcome.  How do people get through something like this without knowing God and having a relationship with Him?  I don’t know how it is possible.
I heard a sermon today about anxiety.  I really needed to hear it.  No matter what your circumstance you need to trust God.  Trust that He is in control and knows what He is doing.  Trust that He can and will take care of you (me).
Don’t give in to anxiety.
·                It leads to unwise decisions
·               Steals joy and peace
·             Wastes time and energy
·              Can very negatively effect your health
I know these things but sometimes the reality of “living with cancer”
hits hard. 
I met a nurse the other day who told me radiation can mess up your heart.
She also told me if she got breast cancer again she wouldn’t do anything about it.  I asked her what she meant by anything and she said, no treatment, surgery, nothing.  That surprised me.  She said she didn’t want to go through all of it again.  She had stage I.  But, she also said that now cancer doesn't kill people like it used to they just live with it like people live with diabetes or other diseases that don't go away.
I wish I could just stop going through all of it.
Tomorrow I get another Xgeva shot.  This seems to be causing a lot of pain and I would really like to skip it.  But the Dr. said it takes 3 – 4 shots before it even begins to work so tomorrow’s number 4.  We’ll see what happens.

Here’s the sermon notes from today:

By Dr. Charles Stanley
 Key Scripture: Philippians 4:4-7
I. Introduction: Emotions greatly influence how we live our lives. They are a gift from God, provided so we can enjoy life and relate to others, but how we express them determines whether they are beneficial or detrimental. Either we control them, or they control us.
Anxiety is the most prominent emotion people are experiencing today. It’s important to realize that feeling anxious is not a sin, but the Lord doesn’t want us to live in a continual state of dread because of life’s uncertainties. It’s important to understand what we should do with anxiety and how long we let it control us.
II. What is anxiety?
A. In the New Testament, the word anxiety means, “to be distracted or pulled apart.” This is the opposite of peace, which means, “to be bound together.”
B. It can also be defined as “dread, apprehension, and uncertainty” and can be caused by past events, a present situation, or future possibilities.
C. Sometimes, anxiety is a fear of not being in control or of feeling vulnerable.
III. What are the sources of anxiety? First of all, know that God is not the creator of anxiety and that worry doesn’t fit our identity as followers of Christ. Instead, we should trust God (Matt. 6:25-26). It’s important to know there are: 
A. Legitimate causes. Some things are just naturally going to create anxiety. For example, if you didn’t study for an exam, you have reason to be nervous.
B. Inappropriate reasons. At other times, our worries are caused when we feel we might not get what we want. It could be some possession or a relationship we want, even if we know it’s not right.
C. Unacknowledged issues. When we don’t deal with the cause of our anxiety, it takes up long-term residence within us, causing all sorts of emotional and physical problems. This is not the way God wants His children to live.
IV. Why should we avoid anxiety?
A. It isn’t scriptural. In one passage alone, Jesus said, “Do not be anxious” three times (Matt. 6:25-34). He explained that it is unnecessary because the Father will provide what we need. We simply can’t accept a lifestyle of anxiety when Jesus is our Prince of Peace. 
B. Anxiety has a negative effect on every area of our lives because it:
1. Divides our minds. Apprehension pulls us in two different directions, making it hard to focus on important matters.  
2. Slows down our productivity. Because we are distracted with worry, we can’t give anything else our best efforts. 
3. Affects our personal relationships with others. It’s hard to keep our anxieties to ourselves. When we’re filled with fear, we burden those around us.  
4. Leads to unwise decisions. Those who are overly concerned about the future are prone to make hasty decisions to stop feeling uncertain.
5. Steals our joy and peace. It’s impossible for us to be fretful and peaceful at the same time.
6. Proves to be a terrible waste of time and energy. Uncertainty, frustration, and worry are exhausting and achieve nothing and can even have a devastating effect on our health.
V. What is the correct way to deal with anxiety? With so much at stake, it’s foolish to give in to anxiety or seek quick, temporary relief. Instead of worrying, you should:
A. Bring your worries to God. Whatever is troubling you is a matter for prayer. The first step to freedom is confessing your fears to the Lord rather than let them rule you (Acts 18:9-10).
B. Come to the Lord with an attitude of thanksgiving. In the midst of your apprehension, you may not feel grateful, but when you think about God’s loving involvement in your life, you can’t help but praise Him (Phil: 4:6-7).
C. Come with a threefold conviction. Remember the Lord loves you unconditionally and wants the best for you. Also, He has the desire and power to help, so you can expect Him to do just that.
D. Recognize that anxiety is a faith battle.We must believe that God will replace our anxieties. If we surrender our concerns into His hands, we can have His amazing peace—even if all hell breaks loose around us.
VI. Conclusion: As great as all these promises are, they will not be yours if you give Christ your worries with one hand and take them back with the other. True freedom is only possible when we finally admit that a burden is too heavy to carry. Remember, no one has to live in anxiety; it’s a choice. Freedom and peace await those who give their worries to God and leave them in His hands.

You can also listen to the sermon here -
Do you know God?  (taken from In Touch magazine)
Perhaps you've never thought about God's calling on your life.  His first goal for you is
salvation.  If you don't yet know Christ that can change today.  All you have to do is confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved.  (Romans 10:9)
Then the holy spirit will come to live within you from that point on, empowering you to do all God has planned for you.  Won't you take this step today?  You can use the following prayer or your own words.

Lord Jesus, I believe you are truly the Son of God.  I confess that I have sinned against you, in thought, word, and deed.  Please forgive all my wrong doings and let me live in relationship with you from now on.  I receive you as my personal Saviour, accepting the work you accomplished once and for all on the cross.  Thank you for saving me.  Help me to live a life that is pleasing to You.  Amen

You can get an All things are new kit from In Touch.

I had such a difficult time typing this - someone must really need to read it!

For the artists who read this go and look at this artists' work. It is absolutely beautiful and I hope to see it someday in person!
Makoto Fujimura's

here's his website:

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Yesterday I had to go to the Dr. to pick up a prescription.
Corey drove me.  As we were leaving the parking lot at the
Dr.  she swerved and said, "that's Shawn".  Shawn's a 
friend of Corey's that I've talked to on the phone who recently
started going through this breast cancer journey.  It was
amazing to me that we just happened to be there at the precise
moment that we would run into her.  As Tracy says,
"serendipitus" and a "God" thing.  We talked for a little.
It was amazing to see her and I'm so glad she was able to
get my Dr.

Corey took me to the dog park so I could see what it's like.
It's a lake by the old Navy base that I actually took a sailing
lesson in back in the 70's.  Can't believe how long ago that was.
It was really crowded.  Corey told me there were lots of places
I could sit in the shade and watch her and Minion and take
photos.  This husky had a bit of a scary look to him.  

 It was pretty there and a very nice relaxing day.

 See, coming at Minion he looked kind of scary

 Corey told me lots of benches to sit on.
See this one Minion's on.  I was standing next
to it taking his photo when some of the dogs
in the background (not small dogs) decided 
to start chasing each other.  They came racing over toward 
us and under the bench and right in between my legs.
Scared me, but thankfully they didn't knock me down.
Of course they'd been swimming so I got all
wet and yucky but it made me laugh.
 Minion was smaller than the stick but he kept fetching it.

 He'd do anything for Corey he loves her so much.

 Then another scary big dog came over and said hi to Minion.
 The trees were very inspiring.

The nice thing about this dog park is the dog wash.
 tired puppy
 Minion just wants to kiss Corey not be photographed
 Pretty girls, Jill and Corey and mini onion

Friday, April 13, 2012

They are having a fundraiser for Gwyn an artist who has stage IV breast cancer like me.   You can check out the information here.

I know what it is like to have to spend lots on co pays and everything else involved in this journey.
I have been blessed with family and friends that have helped with many of my expenses.  We could
not have made it without them and I thank God everyday for all of the help we have received!!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Yesterday was one of those days where the
reality of this disease hits.  I never wanted to
be on pain medication that is strong and addictive
but I’ve heard other Christians say they can’t live
without them and they are a blessing not a curse.
Really?  I guess they are in a sense because the
pain would keep me in bed otherwise.  I have to look
at it that way instead of I never wanted to do this.
I want to believe God will heal me of this but sometimes
I forget to look up and only see what’s in front of me, or
feel what's inside of me.  I guess too I was frustrated because I
was told I would only be paying 25$ every time I get
an Xgeva shot and then got a bill for $2565.38.  All the
phone numbers I tried to call yesterday, trying to
get it resolved, said leave a message.  They didn’t
call back.  So I’ll be on the phone again today trying
to get it straightened out.   I have to focus on
the good not the bad but it’s hard sometimes. 
The good:  I’m getting to stay home and paint and
read (I’m reading 5 books and the Bible through in a year)
and spend more time with my family. Although
I haven’t been painting much – time to get to work!

Some photos from the Winter Park Art Show

 My brother painting the side of the house for
Chuck's birthday.  Awesome!
I haven’t been painting much – time to get to work!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Maybe I've been over doing it lately but I really hurt. It could be this new medication Xgeva.
I don't know but my bones ache and some feel like they did when the Dr. told me my ribs were fractured. My teeth hurt too which can be a side effect of the Xgeva.

But I am more mobile. I actually went somewhere without my cane. Chuck took me to the beach today and I walked. Not too far. It was really nice but really crowded.

Right now I should be sleeping so I will.

Oh, and I'm reading a great book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson - my brother bought it
for me. Thanks Stuart!

I have art show pictures I need to post too which I really enjoyed, very slowly, but I think that made it better. I'll try to post them tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Random Tuesday
This is the barley life I drink for
breakfast. It looks nasty and it
tastes -well like whatever you
mix it with- and grass with a little
sand. But it's supposed to be good for you.
And I've kind of gotten used to it.
Corey's cat Alfred has finally made it outside.
He really enjoys his time outdoors.
I finished this little 31/4"x4 1/2"
clay tile piece.
I wanted to make a card
out of this watercolor I painted.
I actually did another painting
of it on a card. I think I know where
it's going.

Jesse came by today and took me to
Michael's - always fun.
Not feeling all that well today.
But she made me feel better.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Been one of those weeks where I was really dreading something that I didn't need to.
The Dr.'s appointment was fine. It was really just a check to see how I'm doing. I had
a lot of questions. Some got answered some didn't.
I figured out why I was dreading it so much. I had a few people mention chemo to me and
why hadn't I had it. I remember from the beginning my oncologist said no that she was going
to try different methods to save my life. She said she wanted to keep me healthy and that
chemo wouldn't do that. I agreed whole heartedly and still do.
So it ended up being a rather ordinary visit, except for increasing pain pills and making
an appointment to get measured for a sleeve so I can take a trip. A sleeve is like compression
stockings for your arm, if you've had lymph nodes removed, it keeps the blood flowing properly.
The increase of the pain medication makes me ill and unable to function normally (can't stay
awake) so we're going to have to figure out another alternative.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Pretty flowers Jesse gave me for valentine's day.
I think she said they are a mix between a azalea
and a poinsettia. The color is amazing and not quite
showing it in this photo.

What I needed today.

Thursday had my 2nd Xgeva shot. I'm having lots of side effects this time. I have a Dr.'s appointment this week have to see what she says.
Had a really good week when my brother and his family were here.
Then had a not so good week after that. I guess it was kind of a let down after all
the excitement.

from Jesus Calling today:
Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me.
Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear. Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow. If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat. You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today. It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens Keep your focus on My Presence in the present.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Friday, January 27, 2012

Today I started a new treatment, Xgeva.
It's supposed to be a bone strengthener replacing
Zometa. It is a shot instead of infusion and
was so much simpler. The actual shot didn't
hurt - just my arm, neck and side started to feel sore
but it went away. A little later I felt
this kind of tingly feeling up the left side of my
spine, not painful, just weird. Then I started feeling
a little better and now just sleepy. So far this
is so much better especially since I ended up
in the hospital when I had my one and only Zometa infusion.

I've been playing and making art journal pages
to fill up later.