Thursday, September 27, 2012

MRI update.
The Dr. was happy with the results.  She said it looked pretty good.  There are a couple of really small
tumors but nothing to worry about.  The one thing I was confused about is the report says a compression fracture at T1 likely pathologic.  She said it was healing and that it wasn't new but it
was the first time its been in any of the test results.  So how old is it?  It is right where I get sharp pains every once in a while.  She seemed very happy with the results so I choose to be too.
They did increase pain medications the visit last week which seems to be helping.  There are always issues with that too - sleepy, intestinal problems, not thinking clearly - but that's ok.  I can deal with these.
Something I'm reading - from In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day:

Maybe that is why God sometimes invites us to defy impossible odds.  Maybe it is one way He can show us His omnipotence.  Maybe God allows the odds to be stacked against us so He can reveal more of His glory.

I can always hope this is the case.  Even if it isn't I trust Him in this circumstance and see ways that He has worked.

Monday, September 24, 2012

In my reading today I realized this very much fits my present circumstances.  I have been feeling unaccomplished in anything.
Reading this made me realize my feelings are not the truth. 

September 24, 2012
from:  Streams in the Desert

When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, bu the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.  Acts 16:7

What a strange thing for the Lord to prohibit, for they were going into Bithynia to do Christ’s work!  And the door was shut before them by Christ’s own Spirit.

There have been times when I have experienced the same thing.  Sometimes I have been interrupted in what seemed to be quite productive work.  And at times, opposition came and forced me to go back, or sickness came and forced me to rest in some isolated place.

During such times, it was difficult for me to leave my work unfinished when I believed it was service done in the power of His Spirit.  But I finally remembered that the Spirit requires not only a service of work but also a service of waiting.  I came to see that in the kingdom of Christ, there are not only times for action but times to refrain from action.  And I also came to learn that a place of isolation is often the most useful place of all in this diverse world.  Its harvest is more rich than the seasons when the corn and wine were the most abundant.  So I have learned to thank the blessed Holy Spirit that many a beautiful Bithynia had to be left without a visit from me.

Dear Holy Spirit, my desire is still to be led by You.  Nevertheless, my opportunities for usefulness seem to be disappointed, for today the door appears open into a life of service for You but tomorrow it closes before me just as I am about to enter.  Teach me to see another door even in the midst of the inaction of this time.  Help me to find, even in the area of service where You have closed a door, a new entrance into Your service.  Inspire me with the knowledge that a person may sometimes be called to serve by doing nothing, by staying still, or by waiting.  And when I remember the power of Your “gentle whisper” (I Kings 19:12), I will not complain that sometimes the Spirit allows me not to go.  George Matheson 

When I cannot understand my Father’s leading,
and it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
Still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading,
God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT.

Then to make sure I got the point, I read the following from “Jesus Calling”.

This is the path I have set before you.  As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant Life and Peace.

Sometimes this is a very difficult place to be. And to understand what is going on - why the silence and inactivity.  Then I remember the things
I’ve been learning from this experience and also the messages I’ve gotten out for people to hear:

o   Trust God above all else and work on your relationship with Him. 
o   Love your family and friends and let them know how special they are.
o   Take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
o   Get your mammograms on time.  Don’t wait for the possibility of it spreading and becoming something more difficult to fight – or that you will have to live with the rest of your life.  Notice I did not say
“ladies” because MEN can get it too.

These are the most important to me right now.
Certainly, writing and sharing are not inactive.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Monday - Xgeva shot and blood work, slept almost all day because of shot
Tuesday - Had to go to the Dr. because of problems I've been having.  They are changing
                 my pain meds to see if that works and doing an MRI next week to see if anything
                 new could be the culprit. Tired does not begin to describe how I was feeling.
Wednesday - I guess the shot was making me feel bad.  Had a migraine?  Neck, back head felt like
                      they were going to explode.  Slept a lot again.
Thursday - Felt better during the day and I got my new medications -tried them at night.
                  Don't know if they're going to work, couldn't tell any difference.  Maybe it takes time.
Friday - felt better in the a.m. but around 3 started feeling like I'd been run over by a truck.  That
             is how the Dr. said the shot would make me feel for 2 weeks.
Saturday - Chuck decided he wanted to rearrange the family room.  For me that means dusting and
                 helping when possible.  It's not finished and more stuff got moved into my art room which
                 means more rearranging in there.  Last weekend he painted my art room or "studio" and
                 Jesse, Jason, and Chuck moved my stuff into my new space.
                 Looking forward to everything being back to normal.
                 I will take pictures when everything is done.
                 Feeling better today, yay.