Thursday was a fun day spent at the Dr. asking lots of questions about lots of problems, talking about work, (which she said going back in November probably not), and going to the hospital to get checked for blood clots in the neck and arm. Thankfully, no blood clots. What was supposed to be a couple hour visit turned into most of the day.

Friday another fun day at the Dr. because my health insurance won't let me do a Dr. visit and treatment on the same day, stupid - more money for both of us. The treatment was my first. They accessed my port to do the meds and fluids. As soon as they started, I had extreme heat in my heart and I couldn't breath. She stopped it immediately and found the Dr. who decided I needed to do a port test at the hospital but before the test they decided to do the treatment through an IV. She couldn't get the vein in my hand to work, ouch!!! So she had to find another vein in my arm.

After an hour and half of treatment (which was more like 4 hours because of all the problems) I had to go to the hospital for a port test. They didn't find any leaks and said I probably have to try laying flat during treatments. Ok then. So another trip back to the Dr.'s office to get the port de-accessed. And another 2 hour appointment turned into an all day - fun time. I will say all the staff is super sweet and do their best to treat me well.

Reading from Streams in the Desert today

John Vincent, a Methodist Episcopal bishop of the late-nineteenth and early-twentieth centuries and a leader of the Sunday school movement in America, once told of being in a large greenhouse where clusters of luscious grapes were hanging on each side. The owner of the greenhouse told him, "When the new gardener came here, he said he would not work with the vines unless he could cut them completely down to the stalk. I allowed him to do so, and we had no grapes for two years, but this is now the result."

There is rich symbolism in this account of the pruning process when applied to the Christian life. Pruning seems to be destroying the vine, and the gardener appears to be cutting everything away. Yet he sees the future and knows that the final result will be the enrichment of the life of the vine, and a greater abundance of fruit.

There are many blessings we will never receive until we are ready to pay the price of pain, for the path of suffering is the only way to reach them. J.R. Miller

Starting the "new" treatment next Thursday. It uses the port. Wondering how it will go.

Something I needed to read this day.

from "Jesus Calling" September 11, 2011

REJOICE IN ME ALWAYS! No matter what is going on, you can rejoice in you Love-relationship with ME(Christ). This is the secret of being content in all circumstances. So many people dream of the day when they will finally be happy: when they are out of debt, when their children are out of trouble, when they have more leisure time, and so on. While they daydream, their moments are trickling into the ground like precious balm spilling wastefully from overturned bottles.

Fantasizing about future happiness will never bring fulfillment, because fantasy is unreality. Even though I am invisible, I am far more Real than the world you see around you. My reality is eternal and unchanging. Bring your moments to Me, and I will fill them with vibrant Joy. Now is the time to rejoice in My Presence!

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

Psalms 102:27

"But Thou art the same, And Thy years will not come to an end.

One of the new medications I'm on is an estrogen blocker. It has a lot of side effects. One of the annoying ones is hot flashes - so I went online to find some possible helps with this. The one I thought was funny was "stick your head in the refrigerator when one starts".

Met with fellow artist Tracy this morning. Learned

a couple of things on the computer. Now having a healthy

lunch; spinach, banana, walnut salad with raspberry vinaigrette,

and a cup of green tea. I think I will start trying to post something

healthy I eat just to keep me inspired to continue with it.

I haven't posted lately because I'm in a state of "wait and see". Meaning wait and see if the tumors on my bones shrink, or die, or whatever they're supposed to do from the radiation treatments. Wait and see if the pain I've had since surgery gets any better including the new problems that have surfaced and the most annoying - numbness, tingling in my arm - and feeling like I'm going to pass out when I stand up. Waiting to start the treatment I'll be getting in my port, starts the 22nd. Then wait to see what that does. Wait to see if I'll be able to go back to work in November. I'm not very good at waiting.