Today I started a new treatment, Xgeva.

It's supposed to be a bone strengthener replacing

Zometa. It is a shot instead of infusion and

was so much simpler. The actual shot didn't

hurt - just my arm, neck and side started to feel sore

but it went away. A little later I felt

this kind of tingly feeling up the left side of my

spine, not painful, just weird. Then I started feeling

a little better and now just sleepy. So far this

is so much better especially since I ended up

in the hospital when I had my one and only Zometa infusion.

I've been playing and making art journal pages

to fill up later.

I haven’t written on here in a while because I’ve been unsure what to say. I’ve also been a little bit down about my last Dr. visit. Chuck had planned on asking the Dr., “when can we say she’s cancer free”. But before he could ask she told us they hadn’t been treating all the cancer just the big stuff. That was quite a shocker. Ok God I know you have a plan but it gets confusing sometimes. Then she told me I needed to be on stronger pain medication. I’ve never been someone who takes medicine and have had strong feelings against it. So I guess I needed to learn something about this too. Because it seems to be helping it just has some side effects I’m not fond of.

I got really upset the day of the appointment but I’m much better now. Not having many Dr.’s appointments is helping me to feel better. I have one per month for the next 3 months. I will have an additional one per month when they start me on the new bone strengthener.

That’s another story…

A lady from the oncologist’s office called me before my appointment and told me my cost for the medication would be $366.54 every 28 days on my insurance. I told her I wasn’t on mine any more but on my husbands. She said she would check and call me back. I knew it would be even more on his and was quite upset. When shc called back she said it would be a little over $2000.00 on his. She said there was some kind of program that I would be eligible for through the drug company if I wasn’t on medicare or medicade. Thankfully I’m not. She said they give you a savings card so the first treatment is free and all the rest are $25.00. She said it would be a huge blessing for me. I told her yes it would and thank you for doing the research for me. I was so relieved but upset with myself for not trusting God to take care of it for me. He not only took care of it but in the same day so I’d stop stressing about it.

If I understand correctly, the bone strengthener can help fight the rest of the cancer by making my bones stronger and more able to fight. So that’s what I’m praying.

Excerpts from Streams in the Desert January 10:

It is interesting to study the way God extended His guidance to the early messengers of the Cross.  It consisted mainly in prohibiting their movement when they attempted to take a course other than the right one.  When they wanted to turn to the left, toward Asia, He stopped them.  When they sought to turn to the right, toward Bithynia in Asia Minor, He stopped them again.  In his later years, Paul would do some of his greatest work in that very region, yet now the Holy Spirit closed the door before him. 

Beloved, whenever you are in doubt as to which way to turn, submit your judgment absolutely to the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door but the right one.  Say to Him, “Blessed Spirit, I give to You the entire responsibility of closing every road and stopping every step that is not of God.  Let me hear Your voice behind me whenever I ‘turn aside to the right or to the left’ (Deut. 5:32)

In the meantime, continue along the path you have already been traveling.  Persist in your calling until you are clearly told to do something else.  O traveler, the Spirit of Jesus is waiting to be to you what He was to Paul.  Just be careful to obey even His smallest nudging or warning.  Then after you have prayed the prayer of faith and there are no apparent hindrances, go forward with a confident heart.  Do not be surprised if your answer comes in doors closing before you. 

(mine)  But in those closed doors the path of God opens before you.  His will in His time and His promises, these are what we must cling to.  We have to let go of our preconceived ideas of what we think we should be doing and when.  We need to live each moment as it comes and cherish our time with family and friends.  That is what I’m trying to remember and live.

Hopefully you won’t have to go through cancer to get to this point in your life.

Friday was my last day of radiation.  When they took me to ring the bell I was very unsure about doing so
since I rang it before and ended up having to have more radiation.  I rang it anyway.  Let's hope I'm truly done with it.  I don't know how much more my body can take.  The first time I went through it and rang the bell I went and sat in my car and cried.  I really don't know why.  This time I just wanted to celebrate!

Yesterday was the first day I've eaten almost normal and this morning I'm up early regretting it.  I've just been so hungry but I'm going to have to be careful.  I don't want to be experiencing this again.
I'm so happy I don't have any Dr. appointments this week and only one the week after.

I hope this New Year brings a lot of positive changes for everyone!